"You didn't want to, did you," she points out, less a question and more a reminder.
When she'd come back from the Buried — when John had helped her come back — she'd made her decision. She'd gotten to be herself, really be herself, underground like that, in a way she hadn't been in long enough that she hadn't even been sure she knew who she was anymore. Daisy, the Hunt, they were one entity in such a way that she had never been able to excuse her behavior, but once cleanly severed, she'd known: she doesn't want to be the Hunt. Things are different in Darrow. She needs the Hunt, needs to use it, and does. But John still helps her make sure she doesn't lose herself in it.
He'd helped her then, and has helped her now, because she'd asked him to. But he'd never asked for that in return. Whether because he'd thought he was in control, or because he saw the Eye as less invasive than the Hunt, she doesn't know, but he hadn't sought out that same restraint.
no subject
When she'd come back from the Buried — when John had helped her come back — she'd made her decision. She'd gotten to be herself, really be herself, underground like that, in a way she hadn't been in long enough that she hadn't even been sure she knew who she was anymore. Daisy, the Hunt, they were one entity in such a way that she had never been able to excuse her behavior, but once cleanly severed, she'd known: she doesn't want to be the Hunt. Things are different in Darrow. She needs the Hunt, needs to use it, and does. But John still helps her make sure she doesn't lose herself in it.
He'd helped her then, and has helped her now, because she'd asked him to. But he'd never asked for that in return. Whether because he'd thought he was in control, or because he saw the Eye as less invasive than the Hunt, she doesn't know, but he hadn't sought out that same restraint.