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Date: 2022-02-15 04:32 am (UTC)From:Martin thanks him, as if to confirm that equilibrium has been achieved, and John mentally prepares himself to draw back, not wanting to telegraph the reluctance he feels and risk making things awkward. But before he can so much as loosen his grip, Martin surprises him by drawing him back in for another hug. John returns the gesture automatically, any startled hesitations overridden by muscle memory. Part of him questions whether this is really wise — if there's a point where this might get too indulgent, with them no longer solidly on the same temporal and emotional page — but he isn't sure he can muster any real anxiety over something Martin has so clearly chosen. Nor does he have any interest in making Martin feel in any way worse, given what brought him here in the first place. He wants to make Martin feel better, not humiliate him. So he leans against him, one hand gently rubbing his back, and resists the urge to turn his face and nuzzle into Martin's hair.
It isn't long before Martin suggests sleep, and John hums in quiet agreement. But Martin makes no immediate move to extricate himself, and John isn't eager to lead the proverbial charge. He chews his lip for a moment, weighing his options, then ventures, "I can— I could stay, i-if you like. If it would help, I mean." Is that too presumptuous? "It, um, it's helped before," John clarifies, realizing with distant horror that he's starting to babble, "though obviously the circumstances are a bit different now. But if you think it might help, I-I wouldn't mind just... staying." Jesus Christ. "Like this." Shut up.