Jonathan Sims

It isn't unusual for John to take such care with him, even with such a small gesture, and maybe it's partly due to his current vulnerability, but Martin feels such a wave of gratitude as John gently helps him out of his shirt that he fears for a moment he's in danger of bursting into tears. Fortunately it's a short-lived sensation; he's far too tired for such emotion, and he has no desire to give John any cause to worry. He just sighs with relief and murmurs his thanks before shucking off the rest of his pajamas as quickly as possible.

Quick so he won't have time to think about it. Even already committed to this and too tired to overthink it, embarrassment still runs through him as he steps gingerly into the tub. It has been years since he was actually naked in front of anyone, in any context, and even as far as he and John have come, he's nowhere near comfortable enough with himself that he can treat it with any nonchalance. It's only illness that keeps him on track: too tired to freeze up, too tired to rush himself. He eases himself into the water with only a slight hitch of breath as he acclimates to the temperature; then he shuts his eyes and breathes out slowly.

At least he doesn't feel too terribly exposed. Natural anxieties aside, it's not a bad feeling to let John see him. The insecurity is his own. John only makes him feel safe.

So, eventually, he opens his eyes again and looks back at John, managing the faintest of smiles.